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Gideon for President in 2008 |
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Written by Hagen Nordlund
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Friday, 27 April 2007 04:27 |
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Solace Creek, Colorado (ANS) - Colorado Congressman T. Emory Gideon just announced that he is a candidate for President in 2008. In a radical WebSpeech, Gideon decried immigration -- as usual -- and the First Amendment -- as usual. We at York Broadcast Network are not expecting this run to last long, even with the backing of Acolytica and Evangelical Crossway. 
In words that my analyst would approve -- Gideon is a nutcase. To see the full text of his WebSpeech visit his campaign website. We doubt it will be up for long. Nordlund. |
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Last Updated on Friday, 31 October 2008 17:01 |
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UN Approves Resolution on Spammers |
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Written by Hagen Nordlund
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Monday, 29 November 1999 17:00 |
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December 12, 20xx (ANS) New York -- The United Nations today approved a resolution that will allow the use of multi-warhead nuclear weapons against internet spammers. The United States Ambassador to the United Nations said "This crap has been allowed to go on far too long. It's eating network bandwidth and wreaking havoc with communications systems around the world. More importantly, we don't need any more f**king VnIAGRna!!!" More to come... we're sure. |
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 April 2007 03:36 |
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Colorado Congressman Killed While Hunting With Veep |
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Written by ANS - Wire
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Monday, 29 November 1999 17:00 |
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October 18, 2007 - Boulder-Springs Colorado (ANS)... Nolan Trueax, four-term congressman from Colorado's seventh congressional district, died today after being accidentally shot by a member of the Vice President's security team. Details are forthcoming. Trueax had been under fire for his recent proposal of a piece of legislation HB7-1231, that established strict limitations and controls on war-time profits by American companies. Nicknamed "Corpacite Swatter", the legislation proprosed broad and sweeping changes to the tax code in addition to creating a new class of Federal crime.
Under Trueax's proposed legistation, 80% of a company's war-related profits would be divided equally among the war's disabled casualties and surviving families. To substantially increase the bite, and to counter recent moves to repeal Sarbanes-Oxley legislation, HB7-1231 permanently erased tax deductions for the salaries and other compensation paid to the top 10% of any company's employees, regardless of the war-time provisions of the bill. Services for Congressman Trueax have not been scheduled at this time, and the President declined to order a period of mourning for the fallen representative. |
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:52 |
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Distraught Security Woman Leaps From Helicopter |
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Written by YBN / ANSnow!
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Monday, 29 November 1999 17:00 |
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October 18, 2007 - BREAKING NEWS (ANS)... An unidentified woman, a member of the Vice President's security team, has jumped to her death from the helicopter designated Marine Two over the Yampa Valley in western Colorado. It has been confirmed that the security officer who jumped was distraught that her weapon accidentally discharged earlier today, killing Colorado Congressman Nolan Trueax. We will be updating this story as it develops. |
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 28 March 2007 14:52 |
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The News
